Torchlight Detectives T-Shirts

"Harold! Are you awake? I think you've left your torch on."

A boy acting suspiciously

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'The Torch Holder'.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Elusive Shadow.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Excessive Paperwork

Violence on TV.

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"I think he's lost."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

Schlock Holmes

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

I thought you might want to color it in. Color chalk. 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 4 5 5

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"