Torchlight Detectives T-Shirts

"Harold! Are you awake? I think you've left your torch on."

A boy acting suspiciously

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'The Torch Holder'.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Elusive Shadow.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Excessive Paperwork

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"I think he's lost."

Violence on TV.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Schlock Holmes

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"

'Have we found a scandal in here?'