Torchlight Trekker T-Shirts

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Camping.

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

School trip little porters.

Nature Lovers

Future Tents

Bigfoot tracks...

'We can probably make Mars in one day.'

'How come they know where we are when we don't.'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

"You're doing great - keep it up."

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"Hey. . . in use!"

'I need to lose enough pounds to take a thirty-five meal cruise!'

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

Have you seen the other tent pole?

'Well, you'll just have to CONTROL your urge to yodel!'

'Says here that if you meet a bear in the woods, never try to outrun it!'

"Well Carter, according to the map, this is where the Rainforest begins."

'I got the idea from the parks department.'

A woman rides a treadmill as she chases a cookie jar on a refridgerator.

'Oh, great! We've been going round in right-angled triangle.'

"I thought this was a little heavier than usual."

"Harold! Are you awake? I think you've left your torch on."

Champagne area.

"Honey ... let’s never ... ever ... do this ... again."

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'