Trojan Tale Appreciator T-Shirts

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

'First you must prove your worthiness.'

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

Achilles' Testicle

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

Eight medieval characters from the Canterbury Tales.

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

REmember, no cracks about "only the good die young" around Methuselah.

The Augean Stables

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'

"Ok, ok, my mistake—twice upon a time..."

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

You didn't hear it from me, but the other hares in the office think you're getting your work done too quickly.

St. Patrick chases snakes from Ireland.

'Give up smoking? Why?'

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

'Size matters on the Podium.'

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

Little-know historical fact #058 - the Tarzan call origin. Tarzan as a boy, 1 second away from a super-wedgie.

"No. You can't sue each other for identity theft. . . You're identical twins!"

Totem Pole

Somewhere near the city of Troy, circa the 13th century BC.

"It's best to let sleeping dogs lie"

Large Man Gets out of Limousine.

'Well, they put the lantern in the steeple, but Paul had nodded off, so I said, 'Hey Paul...'.'

In retrospect, what I learned is that money is a motivator but it can be too much of a motivator