Trip To Las Vegas Gifts

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Zombie standup

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

The Echoes at Killarney

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"It looked different on the internet."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Honestly Norman, would you relax! No one is going to rock the boat! Norman was right to have a suspicious mind.

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

Planning for retirement in a casino.