Las Vegas Trips Gifts

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Zombie standup

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

Free WiFi

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"I can't even deal."

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

'That's the wine you want? I don't believe we have one with a label depicting you water-skiing naked in Vegas.'

He Keeps Touching Me.

'Hey, I'm having a pretty good streak here--how about you guys?'