Las Vegas Trips Prints

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Zombie standup

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

Free WiFi

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

Planning for retirement in a casino.

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

"I can't even deal."

Twelvis

He Keeps Touching Me.

'That's the wine you want? I don't believe we have one with a label depicting you water-skiing naked in Vegas.'