Vegas Traveler Gifts

The Dark Underbelly of Vegas Fountains

Zombie standup

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Overdoing it.

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

Scene on the English coast.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'What a bargain!'

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

'I never tire of watching Hippies go by: They're so colourful...'

Seaside

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

Too Much?

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

1930's bather.

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

"I can't even deal."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

Planning for retirement in a casino.