Las Vegas Traveler Gifts

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

Zombie standup

"First class, or with children?"

Transylvanian backpackers.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

Airplane Mode.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

An Easter Island Head has been added to the four Presidents at Mount Rushmore.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'Well, migration is just a change of scenery really, as all our friends and family come too...'

The next fast train has gone.

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"I can't stop it, so I may as well try to cash in on the tourism boom..."

'Will that be coach?'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Ahh, mannn! I thought you said this was a NUDE beach!' Two guys overlooking a clothed beach hoping it wasn't

"You could say I'm a real Sphinxster."

Ultimately love would find her...

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"