Las Vegas Visitor Gifts

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

Zombie standup

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Iceland volcano

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

Mrs Amblewll wished they'd hurry up and repair the park toilets.

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

A woman breaks a loaf of bread into breadcrumbs for the ducks.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

'It's a dirty lie... I only drink to be sociable!'