Trip Planner T-Shirts

"No ocean views but your cabin does overlook the buffet table."

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

"How's your digestion?"

"Tell me about your travel extras."

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

Tourists

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

"I just..."

Italia tours

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

Columbus discovers ...that when exploring, it's not such a great idea to bring the family along.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"It looks brighter over there!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'