Trip Planner T-Shirts

"No ocean views but your cabin does overlook the buffet table."

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

"How's your digestion?"

"Tell me about your travel extras."

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

Tourists

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Italia tours

"I just..."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

BIG BOOK OF CAMPER VAN NAMES

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

Columbus discovers ...that when exploring, it's not such a great idea to bring the family along.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.