Trigger-happy Jokester Pillows

"You gotta hold onto those things fellas. Gun control. We need gun control."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Pelobong

Men dancing

Leaving cards.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Hello? Animal control?'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading