Trick-or-treat Jokester Pillows

Bread crumbs? But it's Halloween!

Fleas Navidad.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Bug hanging up stockings

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

Santa Elevator

"Maybe this year..."

Blitzen isn't feeling well, so Mary Poppins agreed to fill in for him.

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

Elf of the Month

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

C is for Cracker

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'