Trial Master Gifts

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Trial by Media

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Sphinx Comes Alive

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

I love Basketball.

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Yo Yo Tricks.

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Law Offices

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"It's a setup."

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."