Trial Tamer Gifts

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

Busy office.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

Childhood Screen Addict

'I told you he had a temper.'

How very Independent!

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"Mrs. Tibbles, the vet will see you now."

Superhero training.

'There's a real reason that I hate Google, but right at this moment I forget what that is.'