Trial Tamer Pillows

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

Busy office.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

How very Independent!

'I told you he had a temper.'

Childhood Screen Addict

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Superhero training.

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"Mrs. Tibbles, the vet will see you now."