Trial Tacticians Gifts

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

US and the EU

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'What a control freak!'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

"Whither NATO?"

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'