Trekkie Humorist Gifts

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

LOOK BHIND U!

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

Biliard Enthusiast

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'