Trekkie Humorist Pillows

Alien toilet.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Beam me up. Scotty!

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Why haven't you asked me for my Vulcan password?'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

LOOK BHIND U!

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"