Treadmill Humorist Gifts

JOE'S BAR: Treadmill available: relax, while it walks your dog'

'I used to run. Now I power walk.'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Electric Blanket.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Cyclist Flamingoes

Olympic Torch Training

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Walking To School Simulator

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

Very drunk professional cyclist

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Football Violence

"Which was harder to work out - quantum physics or his wife's mind"

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

New from NBC: 'World's Biggest Feline Loser.'

Bull Treadmill

At the baby oil factory.