Treadmill Aficionado Gifts

'I see the marching season's over for the year.'

'I can't decide if it's a piece of exercise equipment or a metaphor for my life.'

Take The Dog For A Walk.

The experienced backpacker.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Guy in gym

Olympic Torch Training

Walking To School Simulator

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"You're doing great - keep it up."

Gym: Back and Forth or Going Nowhere.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"Still on your left."

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"Damn speed hump!"

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

Bull Treadmill

New from NBC: 'World's Biggest Feline Loser.'

'I need to lose enough pounds to take a thirty-five meal cruise!'

At the baby oil factory.

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Academy.

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

Tred carefully mill.

'... And when Brad Pitt told you that it was this way to the waterhole, you didn't think that you may have been hallucinating?'

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Man using roller blades on treadmill.