Treadmill Avoider Gifts

Good News about winter

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

"It's improv night."

At the baby oil factory.

The Sedentary Dead.

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Superhero training.

"20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!"

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."