Travel Mishaps Gifts

"Frankly, I've about had it with air travel."

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

Injured backpacker.

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

The island paradise is the same as on the brochure, just a tad smaller than he thought.

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

Seagulls landing

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

'It says, 'Get back on the tour bus'.'

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

"Han stuffed himself with Kessel's fried Bantha tacos and now he's got the Kessel runs."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

"You're holding the map upside-down."

'That's typical - they're not our suitcases!'

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

"Sorry Ma'ma, but I got caught inside a car for a few hours. I just managed to escape when they opened the window: Where am I?"

"Flight or fight!"

'Is this business class?'

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

Terminal 5 lost luggage ID department.

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

Airline luggage return: 'Next time, send my luggage to Paris, Texas, and me, to Paris France'