Travel Mishap Gifts

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

"What? The airline lost my luggage. I'm trying to make a statement."

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

Airline luggage return: 'Next time, send my luggage to Paris, Texas, and me, to Paris France'

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"Flight or fight!"

Injured backpacker.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

The island paradise is the same as on the brochure, just a tad smaller than he thought.

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

Seagulls landing

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"Frankly, I've about had it with air travel."

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

'It says, 'Get back on the tour bus'.'

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

"Han stuffed himself with Kessel's fried Bantha tacos and now he's got the Kessel runs."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

"You're holding the map upside-down."

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

'That's typical - they're not our suitcases!'

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

"Sorry Ma'ma, but I got caught inside a car for a few hours. I just managed to escape when they opened the window: Where am I?"