Trash Tv Fan Gifts

'Yeah, but I'm afraid that those in favor of teaching 'Intelligent Design' never met my husband.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Before the Internet

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

TV Situations vacant.

Moses' TV guide.

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

'What do you mean you're not drunk? That's the calculator!'

Elderly Tarzan...

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'