Junk Tv Aficionado Gifts

"I see by your notes you've had most of your brain removed...have you thought about a career in broadcasting?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

Joan Hickson

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

100 best beheadings

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"He's an indoor cat."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

Couch and Potato