Junk Tv Aficionado Pillows

"I see by your notes you've had most of your brain removed...have you thought about a career in broadcasting?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Joan Hickson

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

100 best beheadings

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"He's an indoor cat."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Couch and Potato

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."