Junk Enthusiast Pillows

Garage Sales

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Antiques Roadkill.

'I've expanded.'

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We won!"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Sweet surprise.

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."