Junk Hunting Enthusiast Pillows

"There is nothing of value here."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We won!"

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Student Food Pyramid

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"I could easily change to a healthier lifestyle, but then I'd live longer and be a burden on my loved ones in my old age."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Obese beer drinkers.

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

"This isn't the binge watching I had in mind."

PIG OUR Buffet...All you can eat served in a trough!

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"Nothing says 'Fourth of July' like beer, hot dogs, and antacids."