Trapdoor Enthusiast Gifts

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

'Where was the TSA?'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

James decided to stay in that night.

CCTV in church.

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Product Testing Department

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

"I know I said you could retitle your office, but..."

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

Staycation Photos

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

'Halt! User name and password.'

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

ACL-To Hell With-U.

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

Beware of the dog.