Quirky Door Aficionado Gifts

Clay Pigeon Shooters' Federation...

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Rogue elephant

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Snow globe

Macho man body building club.

Cinzia Baffi's Time-And-Temp Chair

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Carnations.

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

"Butt cracker"

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

The Great Out-doors

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Unfinished business.

WInter Fish

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

Have you seen this toaster?

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'