Door Aficionado Gifts

'I need a simple door, nothing fancy, just in, out, nobody gets hurt.'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Board Game Hunter

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Posh Easter Egg

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

King Madras

Doulton Canada Geese

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Macho man body building club.

Robotic Flower Arranging

"We need to talk."

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

'The old one fell apart.'