Door Aficionado T-Shirts

'I need a simple door, nothing fancy, just in, out, nobody gets hurt.'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Posh Easter Egg

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

King Madras

Doulton Canada Geese

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Robotic Flower Arranging

Macho man body building club.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"We need to talk."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'I'll calk that hole as soon as the siege is over.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

'The old one fell apart.'

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."