Door Design Aficionado T-Shirts

X-Ray toilets.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Fittd shēt

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Waiting Room Quarterly

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

Macho man body building club.

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

Trouble Ahead

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

"Could I have another quick look at your references, Barker?"

Decorators at Home

"If you need me, I’ll be in the living room clawing the bejesus out of that Navajo rug you just picked up at auction."

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"You rang?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

"You're not thinking about redecorating again, are you?"