Home Design Aficionado T-Shirts

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Eve moaning that there are no antiques in Eden

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Fittd shēt

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Waiting Room Quarterly

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation