Staircase Enthusiast Gifts

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Texturing the Walls

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Ladder of Success.

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Thumbing a Lift.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Going Down?

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Elevator charge $1.00.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

The guy who got in on the ground floor

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"I think Henshaw is trying to tell us the corporate ladder is out of order."

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

Climbing to the moon

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

A Fork-lift.

"This thing is so slow!"

'Going up?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.