Trapdoor Enthusiast Pillows

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

'Where was the TSA?'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

James decided to stay in that night.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Product Testing Department

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

Staycation Photos

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"I know I said you could retitle your office, but..."

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

Beware of the dog.

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'