Transaction Tactician Gifts

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'That sign is misleading. They mean if they get an authorization number.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

US and the EU

Takeovers.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"That was a rumor day."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

Human males marking territory.

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'