Business Tactician Gifts

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

'Running a company this size takes a small army.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

"Somewhere out there are people who are still gullible. Your job is to find them."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Friends are important...but you need enemies to keep your edge.'

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'Face it, Larry. You're one of those people who are fated to being used and then tossed aside in an endless series of petty corporate boardroom games.'

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"We need to be more nimble and quick."

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

Takeovers.

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"Quiet, everybody! I sense the vibrations of an injured corporation! It's thrashing around, barely treading water..."

'Looks like another hostile takeover.'

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'He was brought up with a moral, compassionate and philanthropic upbringing, but by putting his nose to the grind stone, he managed to surmount those handicaps.'

"I think he's trying to sugarcoat the bad news."

I think it's a hostile takeover!'

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"It's agreed then, we complain about Microsoft and see if we can get some publicity"

'Alright, Henry, I've cleared everything off my desk just to focus on you.'

Parker was the hardest purchase manager ever.

'Outsourcing is getting more challenging.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"I gave up the honest-man bit, and now I'm looking for someone with a little venture capital."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"We're well positioned for another hostile takeover."