Business Tactics Gifts

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

Lemonade Stand: We Don't Pee In Ourz

"Lastly, I'd like to introduce Rex Nevada who is here to deal with the rampant cattle theft up in marketing."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

Takeovers.

"At the end of the day, I always feel I could have shifted more blame."

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

Business Target

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

To-Let Town Centre Map

"I'll roll over but I refuse to play dead."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

The Use of Cavalry

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop