Business Tactics Fan Gifts

"We really crushed it at that meeting, didn't we?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Takeovers.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

Memo Mania

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

Carrot & nose on sticks.

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'I envisioned something more robust'

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'