Trainspotter Humorist Gifts

Delayed 1840- from Darlington (the Rocket).

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Flight simulator'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

The Enemy

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'It's late!...I can only hope late enough.'

spellchecker

A Few Common Ailments

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Horse accidents

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''