Trainspotter Humorist Gifts

Delayed 1840- from Darlington (the Rocket).

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Flight simulator'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

The Enemy

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Moon's Portaloo.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Polo pony

'It's late!...I can only hope late enough.'

A Few Common Ailments

spellchecker

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Horse accidents

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'