Trails Gifts

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'Geez, Red...do you think those mosquitoes are gonna leave anything for us?'

Hither and Yon sign

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Sport Utility Boot.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

Regretfully in/Hopefully Out.

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

Confusing directions.

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

Nude Beach/Perv Bluff

Orienteering 101

All Roads Go Nowhere.

"Much better than those fiddly maps - we need never get lost now!"

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

"Let's have a look at that Appalachian trail map again."

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

'I think we should stop following these $100 bills. I'm beginning to think the deer know we're here, and they're setting us up.'

The Call of Nature

"We've been walking forever. When does the 'hike start?"

Motorbiker.

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

Confused Tourists