Trail Walking Gifts

"Any trail - just find one and hit it."

"Let's have a look at that Appalachian trail map again."

Hither and Yon sign

Sport Utility Boot.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

Nature Lovers

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"I think this is the perfect place to grow a family."

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

Mother nature takes her course.

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

The social isolation of the entomologist: 'Most people just want to talk about killing 'em.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"How to deal with weeds."

Dog keeping dry, protected by owners.

Confusing directions.

Romance

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"Hey. . . in use!"

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

Clearing up medals.

'It won't do you any good. I just don't have any more peanuts.'

Orienteering 101

All Roads Go Nowhere.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

Black Forest Collectibles.

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

"Much better than those fiddly maps - we need never get lost now!"

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'