Trail Wanderer Gifts

"It's a good thing this is a leisure-time activity, because you couldn't pay me to do it."

"Can you see that beautiful patch of color just to the left of Gulf Island Pond, with all those marvelous loons? That’s where we passed a sports bar."

Hiking Backpack

"You're taking the wrong road not taken."

Wi-fi Zone.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"Where the wild things were."

Hither and Yon sign

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Trail mix?"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Now I'm starting to get a little worried about this global warming thing.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

Sport Utility Boot.

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.