Trail Hiking Gifts

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

The experienced backpacker.

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Skiing.

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"Tommy!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Support Group for a Good Problem

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."