Trail Enthusiast Gifts

Orienteering 101

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"We've been walking forever. When does the 'hike start?"

Confusing directions.

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

Hither and Yon sign

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

Nature Lovers

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

"Hey. . . in use!"

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

All Roads Go Nowhere.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

'I found a whole bunch of worms in the wheel wells!'

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

"Say what you will about my family, but please respect my equity's privacy."

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

"Let's have a look at that Appalachian trail map again."

Election to-do list

'I got the idea from the parks department.'

Obama's favorite potato chips.

Tourists

'Says here that if you meet a bear in the woods, never try to outrun it!'

"My GPS says we’re not even close to the trail … and it’s blaming you."