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By the time all these previews are over, the sequel will be out.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Turtle Trailer Court

Movies vs. Films

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Mog The Week

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

True Story Movie

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Amanda Seyfried

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Stephen King

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

America's funniest investment scams

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Kathryn Morris

"'60 Minutes' is on."

Lowbrow Lolita

Wall mountable TVs.

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

In other news, the world turned upside down today.

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

The horses are off and "Movie Star" take the lead. Here comes "Freight Train" on the rail. Around the bend and down the stretch "Yoge Pose" takes the lead. It might be "Short Circuit" at the wire. No! The winner is "Selfie" in a photo finish!