Trailer Critic T-Shirts

'Ugh, I hate when the trailer gives everything away.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"It's a play on words."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

The Beard in the Stone