Trailer Critic Pillows

'Ugh, I hate when the trailer gives everything away.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Difference of Opinion

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"It's a play on words."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

The Da Vinci Cod