Trailer Watchers Pillows

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

"#notguilty."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"Let's take in a trial."

It's a Dog's life

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."